Friday the 13th

Qouting Wikipedia "A Friday occurring on the 13th day of any month is considered to be a day of bad luck in English and Portuguese-speaking cultures around the globe. Similar superstitions exist in some other traditions. In Greece and Spain, for example, Tuesday the 13th takes the same role. The fear of Friday the 13th is called paraskavedekatriaphobia "

I guess the bad luck did the opposite effect on the Asian Subcontinent, specially for our dear Bangladesh.

I wake up with a call from an auntie telling me that Dr. Md Yunus got Nobel prize. First thing I do is look up that info in the net. Realising it's true he got the Nobel prize, which made me jump of joy. Thinking Unlce will be coming to Sweden, and maybe I will be able to meet him after hearing so much about him from my parents. But then when I look closely I realise he got the Peace prize, by The Norwegian Nobel Committee and he'll be going to Norway instead. Which made me startle a bit, as I was expecting him to get the Nobel prize in Economics, in his field.
For me as a Swede I feel ashamed that The Swedish Nobel Committee missed a great opportunity to recognize a great man like him. But as a Bangali I feel very proud, and as a Chittagonian I feel even more excited. And the fact that I get to brag a bit about my parents knowing him, just lighten ups my day! (I sound like a kid!)

Then another triumph though an expected one, Bangladesh's cricket team wins over Zimbabwe with 101 runs. Joss!! Made me forget the West Indies game.. (chi chi chi, shame on you!)

Night of Laylatul Baraat..

Today falls the night of Laylatul Baraat or as we call Shab E Baraat. Some years ago I got to know that our Arab brothers and sisters don't recognize the night in the same way as we, the "desi" people do. According to some of the scholars, there is nothing mentioned about Shab E Barat in the Q'uraan. So as a youngster and thinking that I know "everything" and "everyone", I fought against my mum saying I wont pray for Shab E Barat. Well, that turned into a unfortunate war, now thinking back; was it my loss or my mothers loss?

Anyway I am still unsure about this night, but I guess I will pray... No harm in praying right? Plus I don't want my mother running around the house and yelling; "Nastiq! Nastiq!"

Update

I heard my mother talking on the phone with an auntie and saying that Shab E Baraat prayers aren't fard. apparently she heard that in the news... So I wonder myself if she prayed?! Don't dare to ask..

Blood phobia?

I got a nasty cut on my finger while making a canvas. I could see the "meat" under the skin!
First I was all calm, went up to show my sister my cut as it looked ugly. Then went for the savlon and bandage, meanwhile climbing up the stairs I started to get dizzy. Reaching the bathroom I fell/sat on the floor as my legs couldn't hold me anymore, I didn't faint but all of a sudden my blood pressure got low.
You know how in cartoons when the character gets hit on the head and it start to see stars, birds etc. Well I thought I was seeing the twilight and two Adibas. Anyway suddenly I started sweating and I just couldn't take it anymore... "Cover the damn thing up!!!" Shouting impatiently to my father.

Anyway, after thinking I realised I have a classic case of blood phobia, but why all of a sudden? I didn't have problems before. I loved going to the nurses for blood test and then bragging about how much blood they took from me. And now I'm all of a sudden blood phobic? And I thought I knew myself enough...

Monsoon in Sweden

feet in the rain
Originally uploaded by amybethvan.

One thing I miss in Sweden is the monsoon rain, when it rains here it's mostly grey and rains very slowly. Nothing like the monsoon rain that pours down in speed.

Today I managed to feel the monsoon here, I was only out for a minute and got soaked top to toe. People at the store was just looking at me and probably thinking: "The poor thing..."

But the most funny thing was that the water got high besides the sidewalk, so noway of passing without getting your shoes all wet. Me and this lady needed to cross the road, so she said; "Lets go over bare feet, no need of ruining the shoes..."
So both of us went around bare feet in the rain.

I couldn't visit the monsoon in Bangladesh, so I guess the monsoon came to me.

RE: When frustration knocks the door...

This is an e-mail I got from a very close friend of mine concerning the blog I wrote on Middle East Crisis. I value his opionions a lot, though in some terms I don't agree with him as he doesn't with me. I guess that's the dynamic in our good friendship.

Email:

Hey, here's my reply to your entry in your blog. It's a bit too long to reply on the site so I decided to send it to you via email. Enjoy... You pretty much nailed it by showing the flaws in both sides. Regarding the current situation… Israel has been through a lot. Does that give it the right to invade Lebanon as it did? I’m going to be brutally honest with you. What Israel has done so far is beyond anything that should have happened. Should Israel have invaded Lebanon to begin with? In 1998, the UN set a resolution (1559 I think it was) that directed Lebanon to get rid of Hezbollah…drive it out of the nation. In 2006, Hezbollah, the same people that have pitted Islam against much of the world (and I’m not saying just the west…I’m talking about every major conflict that Muslims are in), control a large part of Lebanon and have infiltrated the country both territorially and politically. In my view, Israel made the right decision to come in and attempt to take out the Hezbollah sites nearest to the Lebanon-Israel border. But that’s it. They shouldn’t have penetrated the country as they have done, and they MOST definitely should not have targeted Hezbollah where there was a civilian population. Some argue that Hezbollah is embedded in these civilian populations…how can you not target them- you’ll have casualties but that’s how it works unfortunately. Well I argue that Israel should have stopped weeks ago and let a multi-national task force to set up camp in Lebanon. This force, even consisting of forces from other Islamic countries, would then be responsible for stabilizing the Lebanese government and force Hezbollah out. See, the problem is that the West is how it is and the Muslim extremists are how they are. It’s clear that neither can peacefully coexist. Who will budge? Well I can assure you that Americans will not elect anyone that even resembles Bush or his administration’s policies and actions. Now to the Muslim extremists…many people, including you, say they have to go. But no one is kicking them out, choking their financial and military support, but rather, hiding them. I know that external influence such as a UN task force in Lebanon is the last thing many Muslims want to see but I don’t see any other way of getting rid of organizations that terrorize people and make, like you said, a perfectly ok religion into something that people across many nations and religions have come to either fear or despise. My anthropology professor once asked the class if they think war will always exist. My answer is yes, it will. It’s sort of like “without evil, there can be no good” but more complicated. People across the world will differ in how they live, the luxuries they have, and most importantly the access to resources they have. Some people will get pushed out, many nations divided, many nations dissolved, and worst of all (something that I think we can control), groups of people may even be driven out of existence. As long as there is a difference in access to resources, there will always be war. And it’s safe to say that not everyone will enjoy the same amenities throughout the world. People call it ugly, and it is. Are we above it? I don’t think so. We’d like to think that since we’re much more advanced than other life on this planet, that we don’t need to abide by the natural rules. I think otherwise…I guess we write history to not only show our flaws and mistakes and how to avoid some of them but also to show perseverance, strength and other good qualities in humans, how people have the power to change, and in general, how life is. This is because there are governing rules to life (in my opinion) that we cannot and will not circumvent. And these rules or laws will fuel actions such as wars for as long as we exist. I don’t think war ever comes or goes throughout time…it simply evolves. Its always there.

When frustration knocks the door...

I can't make myself to read/watch the news nowadays, it's pathetic... Me or the news? Maybe both...

The human mind has grown so much since 100 years, even in the past 10 years there have been dramatic changes, inventions of gadgets we can't even imagine to live without. Life gets easier for everyday, always a source of progress in the world; medically, technically or humane.

Comparing to the medieval times and now; the human mind/heart has grown more compassionate and generous. But yet, the world seems to become more and more inhuman to live. Why do we even write history? So history won't repeat itself? Well I guess we aren't paying much attention in the classrooms.

Ironic isn't it? The BIG West, the "educated" and "civil" West are day by day turning into a barbaric predator. Maybe the Christian America is trying to prove Darwin’s theories right instead of acting out from their Holy Bible. And then we have the President who calls himself a true Christian, a man of God. Oh please Seinfeld comes with better jokes...! Then the parasites, Zionists, well lets put it like this: If HIV had a face then we know how it would look like!

But then how can we forget our Muslim brothers and sisters, not to mention the "scholared" leaders, which are making the most perfect religion into imperfect. Encouraging youths to suicide bombing? Why don't the leaders themselves become martyrs and show the path of J'annat? And what is up with The Progressive Muslims? When did Islam a have new face? Could you please give me the name of the surgeon?
Should we blame everything on the non believers? Where is the strong Muslim society?

Well, in a way I can understand the frustration of the youth, I self get carried away sometime, visualising myself sitting middle of the hell gap and pressing the trigger. If I only could be Buffy the Vampire Slayer... *tash*

Just speaking Gibberish... But when I thought there would be some kind of peace at last, then another war got started. I think I just had enough...

Confession

I just don't get it! Why do we categorise things, each other, races? Put everyone in categories.
OH, guys are "dogs" and girls are "bitches", when there are guys that are bitches and girls that are dogs.

We can't just categorise eceryone just because a small group of people behaves in a certain way. When you actually take a good look, it's very a small group, but those are the ones who tend to stand out of the crowd. So we assume everyone’s like them. But it's nothing like that.

We, ourselves put barriers/walls amongst us, with the crap about "Women from Venus, Men from Mars". It's just CRAP! And apparently we are making this as the "IDEAL" (stupid) thinking, a way for us to communicate with each other and we are putting ourselves in these roles. But my friends these are the things that prevents us from equal rights in our society.

Then in a way I do believe men and women are different, but as in physical shapes/clothing/gestures but not in mind and soul!! We are making unnecessary knots when the line couldn't be any straighter.

Over all we shouldn't judge or assume! That is for God/Allah/Higher power. We are only human being, we should treat ONE person by the facts that we know about that person and no more then that.

BLANK

"When everything stops, just for a minute, when you hold your breath for the moment. With blankness in your mind floating, no movement at all surrounding and silent lies over. Are you then dead at that very moment?"

Men's Room

I found this hilirious test for guys in nRaged, how guys should behave during a visit to the men's room. Anyway try it out

Men's Room


[Edit]

My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?

[End Edit]

Seeing Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code..

Just came back from the movies, saw Da Vinci Code. Well while reading the book, I was in such a thrill. Couldn't get my eyes from the book, so you can imagine how anxious I was for the movie to come out. Anyway now after seeing the movie, I wish I didn't see it all. Or atleast I'd seen the movie before I read the book.

Yes, like always books are better than movies and so was this one. I couldn't enjoy the movie as much as I did the book, though it was well made and the actors did a good job. But like always you expect somekind of satisfying feeling in the end, which I didn't disappointedly get. The pace in the movie was not as upbeat as the book. I guess while reading the book we place ourselves in a world that is more surreal and magical than the movie did.

Anyway a tip from me is to watch the movie before you read the book. You'll appreciate the movie more and obviously the book will be a thrill ride.

Comeback? Not yet...

I know, I know...

Well I just don't know! So don't ask me any further why and how? I am already at the verge of going insane, things looked so good, until an unexpected (ok, ok, expected) thunder just struck one sunny day infront of my very two eyes, I just wish it could've killed me right then instead of giving me the horrifying images that are most likely to come in my way, a very slow and venomous death. I know you told me so! Well lucky for you my mum doesn't know yet, but as soon as she knows she'll be gloating even more!!!

In short terms, just have this stressful moment in my life.... Where I realise again and again what a bum I really am. And to rub it in even more, I got to know that the dropout candidate/no hot shot future (God I sound so cruel) school friend, has got a five months old daughter! So? ATLEAST SHE HAS A BABY!! And me??! I'm still no good of a bum with unnecessary knowledge in my head and stuck at nowhere!!! (So going for Adrian Moles life..) I blame it all on you, telling me that I have brain.... *pss*

Top list:

1. Dad- For you saying that I have sharp brain since kid.
2. Faisal, my math teacher - I could be everything I want? BLAAH! (may you rest in peace)
3. Amit - Next time you tell me how creative I am. I'm going to go all the way to BD and, and... Well be afraid!

So far that's everyone I can think of... I should have listened to my mum, of what kind of a loser I was/am... Maybe I'd be somewhere in life.

Anyway adios for now.. Maya is taking a bit of rest, but she'll be back and so will I.

Writing...

As a kid I always wanted to be a writer, or at least write a book... I actually wrote one, which I remember not going any further then chapter 4. But unlike to that book which was typical Kitty books, I've thought about serious writing. But somehow, I always get stuck... Anyway after reading Tareq Bhai's posts on Blookers, so I've thought about writing a Blook myself.
I didn't know how to start, so I started with the layout, then thanks to Timur, who helped me with the name. And today I managed to write the Prologue. So readers, here is my Mayaboti.

[Edit 23:28 /]

Besides reading all the tragedy that the news have to come with every day, there are always these silly and ironical articles you tend find when you look closely. Well here are some I found in today’s, Wednesday 5th April 2006, issues of Metro Stockholm and Stockholm City. As both are published in Swedish, I’ll try to come with similar sites on English.

Straw forces Rice to sleep on floor!
Apparently Jack Straw Britain’s foreign minister lets the “sweet” Condoleezza Rice to sleep on the floor of the luxury cabin of Air Force Two. Now the British media taunts the minister for his not so gentleman like behaviour. My own opinion to this; if Rice offered the bed, then it’s she to blame! And the West complains about the equality between the sexes, well girls it’s time to be a gentleman for once! And the media should write about better things than about who slept where…

Couldn’t find a link to this, so guess you’ve to rely on my words.

KTH is building paper houses to the catastrophe victims.
The Royal Technical University, KTH along with Design Force are developing and producing ultra light houses of recycled paper for the catastrophe victims, comparing to the 300 kg tents that the victims gets, this paper house weights about 170 kg. They’ve already opened a discussion with the Swedish Rescue Service Agency. Reading this makes me proud of being a Swede, but throughout the whole article they never mentioned what happens during rain and Asia is full of Monsoon. Anyway good luck, KTH!

Bored of your old soul, interested in a new one? Apparently you can buy one over the net!
A man in his late 20’s is selling his soul on Taobao, China’s top online auction site. Already attracted over 50 soul-searching buyers!! My only question is how will they get hold of his soul?

Donkeys better than wives!
Quoting The Times of India " "A donkey is like a housewife ... In fact, the donkey is a shade better, for while the housewife may sometimes complain and walk off to her parents' home, you'll never catch the donkey being disloyal to his master," the newspaper reported, quoting a Hindi-language primer meant for 14-year-olds."
I find this article hilarious, more hilarious that the book has been approved by the state Rajasthan's Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party government though protests from the female members.
As Muslim feminist myself, I should be a bit annoyed with such an article. But I seriously enjoyed reading this, on the positive aspects we didn’t get compared to dogs! And then again, not against females alone, but isn’t it an insult for the donkey to get compared to humans? Or any animals to say, what are more stupid and more cruel than the human race?

[/End Edit]

Footprints in the Sand
- author unknown

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of his life, there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed you most, you would leave me."

The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints in the sand, it was then that I carried you."

Note: Though I don't believe that God appears in the form of a man, etc. Still I find this to be one of my favourites because of the moral it reflects.

Who said TV was rubbish?

So sitting there with the remote in my hand, switching one channel after another I ended up watching a documentary series named, Insider.
The series main aim is to reveal the criminality that goes around the world, specially in Sweden. Most probably I'd continue my hunt for some comedy but today's topic was too good not to see.

The black face of the Swedish real estate agencies, and then I don't mean agencies in normal hill billy areas. These are suppose to be some of the elite agencies downtown Stockholm that deals with estates worth over million(s) kroners, which got painfully busted on camera for tax evasion, illegal apartment trades etc.

So where is the irony in this? Well tell me who doesn't enjoy seeing a suited snob with those luxurious cars, that earns about 100 000 kroners = 12 703,25 USD every month, getting caught!!! I know it's cruel, but I couldn't help myself from laughing (horns started to grow out), I guess I wouldn't seen this much of an amusement if they'd charged an average Joe.

What happened to equality? Oh, screw it!!!

Seasons beginning

This is a video I made some months ago, so watch and tell me what you guys think of it. And if you wonder why Seasons beginning, then it is the meaning of my name, Shakia.

Enjoy

Bangladeshi men too sexy?

General

Last weekend I found myself in a small city, south west of Stockholm, named Skövde. Where I had one memorable weekend. We did it all, we were a bunch of kids when we felt of it. We acted as grown ups, well half of the crew were grown ups. I guess me and Deshi was the only youngsters around. Well I don't see myself as an adult yet, thought it amazed me how time goes fast. One moment you are trying to learn how to read and in the next you are standing there and cooking korma and polao for a bunch of people.
Me and Deshi invited some of her close dorm friends for dinner and I have to say, dinner was a success! I must say I enjoyed the people a lot. Planning on going back there again.

So back to Stockholm and life has just been the same old, just a bunch of classes are starting next week and it's time to get hold of oneself. Still have the project to do, which I haven't still come up with a good idea for. Isn't it fun, how you can find everything else to do at the moment of studies? I always remember of the tasks my mum asked me to do three days ago...

Mission: Coffee Addict

For a time I have had this idea in my mind; to get myself an addiction. As far as I can remember I have never had a proper addiction. Yes, I have myself craving for ice cream now and then, does it make an addiction?
Anyway I want a proper one, like every other normal being in this world I'll get myself addicted to caffeine! I want to see the effects caffeine causes to my mind and body.
Why caffeine? Well first of all I think this is the most normal and safest addiction there are. Then for 2 years I avoided any caffeine products (except chocolates) just of the philosophy of not needing or being addicted to anything that my body isn't need of. Now it feels more like a challenge for me to drink as much as coffee as I want and more.
I already started of today with small doses as my body or my taste buds aren't used to the coffee. Which will hopefully lead to a insanity of caffeine inhalation during a period of time which I haven't decide yet. A month seems too short for an experiment like this. Anyway the purpose is to get myself addicted and just totally stop. The worse case in this scenario is that I don't get myself addicted or I do get myself addicted and can't stop.

Today's Dose
Caffeine Amount: About 5 dl Latte
Negative: Burnt my tongue and a small wanting of brushing teeth
Positive: A clearer mind?

Below is a text that I posted a year ago in my former Xanga, which makes me laugh. As it was all unnecessary, because I took a gap year! Anyway I need to admit that I missed on the Coke Cola. Read it and see if I've changed as a person and writer.

Black Coffee

So sitting here and drinking my first cup of coffee in 2 years. Two years ago this little girl had... no not promised but decided not to drink, eat and inhale any caffeine except the amount caffeine you get in chocolate. Two things a girl can not ever give up; diamonds and chocolate. Guys, don't ask me why. It's just how things are, it's just the same thing to ask, why 1+1 is 2. Just learn to live with it. Anyway as I was saying, I stopped drinking coffee, tea, coke etc. So my drinking habits went all healthy; water, milk, green tea, sparkling water, juice and so on. Things I never thought existed (sorry, just having a fun of overdoing things as usual). So today I drink coffee, why? I feel so sleepy, but I have to be awake. The thing is the deadline for university application in Sweden is tomorrow or in 23 hours. And smarty pants look through everything, but couldn't decide on what to choose. So she waited and now when she wants to apply it's all stuck. The site is overloaded. Now I'm in major panic, I can do one thing, sit all night and wait till it works or I go to school and figure out something. Anyway I'm going to do both, stay up and then go to school. And the coffee tastes yuk. It's really strong and full of sugar, bitter sweet.

Crappy days and sleepless nights...

Usually in English movies and of course nowadays Hindi movies, you see people always drinking a series shots of tequila after having a very crappy day. They drown their grief in tones of brain and liver damaging alcohol, creating a more “happier” environment and ends up throwing their guts out, which in the morning leads to a major headache. But while drinking this “toxin” they for a moment always seem to forget about their problems, about their life.

In my case, while being a teenager and having those rough days, a “drink” would always sound so tempting and rebellious, just like in the movies, I’d use call my friends up, luring them to join me. There we were, all access to everything, but in the last moment I’d always chicken out, actually I’d remember the promises I’d made myself… which I haven’t broken in any of the cases yet. So after 2 or 3 attempts, which I “fail” (actually wouldn’t like to put it that way) my friends and I seem to not even bother to talk about it.

So what do I do after a crappy day, while knowing a sleepless night to be awaited? Well I get myself a big glass of milk, a mouth full of any chocolate available and drown myself in “Grey’s Anatomy”, till my legs get numb and a much needed refill of the drink. Then I go back to my seat, down in the basement and manage to watch more episodes of the HOT series, which actually encouraged me to go for medical, knowing there will be men like Dr. Burk to lust for.

After 6 hours and 11 episodes, eyes stings and lack of brain power, I go up to my room finish the night by writing a post and then fall asleep and wish not to wake up the very next day and realise what a crappy day one had the day before.

Foreign ground or foreign feet?

IMore feet

[Edit @ 23/2 02:05/]

Hope the concept of the photograph is as obvious to you as it is to me, though for some of you it’s not (won’t mention the names, but feel guilty). Anyway this is out of the concept though somehow related to the picture, it’s a text out of the book I just started to read and I found it amusing.

Once when a new son-in-law of the family wrote him a letter beginning with the usual salutations Sricharaneshu (“To the Gracious Feet”), he replied to him as follows:

“My dear Naren, I do not know what it means to call the feet gracious. Neither do you. So, that is nonsense! Further, you have petitioned my feet, leaving me out altogether. You ought to know that my feet are a part of me and should not be looked up on you as a separate entity so long as they keep stuck to my person. Then again, this particular limb is neither my hands nor ears, and therefore to offer anything to it is quite fatuous. Finally, it is possible an expression of devotion on your part to use the respectful plural, for some quadrupeds are indeed objects of your worship, nevertheless I consider it my duty to dispel your ignorance of my proper zoological identity.”

Chaturanga, Rabindranath Tagore

Behold for my new fetish…

[/End Edit]

Dedicate to myself...

Everyone is on the go, of becoming something big. Earning tones of money, doing something good, have a good name.

I hate what our society has become, ego centred and materialistic. They don't satisfy with good anymore, everything has to be GREAT! Which makes it even more difficult for those who are OK... I don't know, I have a constant feeling of people underestimating me, just because I am not doing as I suppose to do; having the top grades, doing career, aiming for the top and more.
What is wrong of wanting less? And why is one always compared to others? Just because you are taking a different path doesn't mean that you are less smart, less talented? Does it?
Another thing I noticed, it's all about the external looks: humans, products... Actually everything . If the package looks good, then for sure it is the best thing out at the market, even if the substance stinks. Which reminds me of how much I hate the aunites who tend to categorise you from just a glance. They don't even take the time to talk to one.

I just wonder, would God judge you after your grades, your occupation or your wealth??

Under construction

Ok, so I've changed the pink. Though it was very tempting to have the pink for few more days, just for the fun of annoying a certain person. But then I couldn't bare the colour myself, not that pink isn't a nice colour... I just guess pink isn't me!

Well I like the base of my layout, though I find it too flat, so I guess during the weekend there will be some more changes... as in background and colour.

Complains from blogger!

Wooh, I am finding my blog a drag. There should be some major changes as in the layout and in the writing.

I mean I started this blog with the thought of giving up after 2 months, which I did. But still I had some good topics and ideas in my mind to write about, but somehow I guess I lost myself in the dark days of autumn, I seriously should not blame the weather for my laziness, or should I? And I guess after my "adventurous" trip from Bangladesh I should be in a fresh state of mind, but after all the thoughts and the flashbacks... I find my genius brain typing: bla, bla and more bla...!

I can't even find myself sharing my joyous memories. Either my brain some how got smashed like banana purée (you know baby food) of all the rays I'd been exposing myself to? It must be my mobile phone! Seriously I've gotten myself stuck in a bad circle... Obviously I am not dwelling only over this blog, but about my creativeness...

Somehow I see myself as Adrian Mole, who couldn't find anything good to discuss about than the Norwegian Leather Industry even in his late 30s!!!

[Edit @ 17:36/]

So I've changed the layout to pink... I know I couldn't find anything better for now. So bare with me!!! And please don't go: "What's up with you girls and pink?"...
For those who do rise this question, I'd like to inform you that I do know some male that are fond of this particular colour and are completely hetro. So please respect my pink!

Ps. Green is my favourite colour!

[/End Edit]