Saturday, October 3

Self realisation - utterly nonsense!

You'd think that by now I'd have my sh*t together and achieved most of my life goals, but no. I'm more lost now than I was before, thrown myself in to the unknown thinking that I'd find my way to Ithaka. (Yes, if you haven't notice Ithaka is the only reference I know, sad.)

Every day, I come to realise new things (or the same things but in different light). I always find myself knowing the answers to my problems, yet again I find myself not applying those solutions. Seeing myself, I realise we human beings are quite the funny mammals. Unless we don't have to struggle for survival, most of us seem to create our own issues. We just don't know how to be satisfied with what we have (I might be wrong and this might only refer to me).

I always find myself seeing other people's problems and wishing those were mine as I know I'd be able to easily solve them. But then again knowing that I could solve my own problems, why am I crippled to do something about those? Are we as humans designated to make our lives painful? Don't get me wrong, I am not in anywhere self loathing myself or hating life. I am just questioning myself as a human, after observing others as well, why do we mostly tend to choose the things that are not suitable for us? 

Like every questions in my head, I have an answer for this one too. For the life experience! I know for a fact that I find myself bored after doing the same old thing over and over again. When I am most comfortable in life, my body and soul starts to itch for some needed changes in my life. That's why I could never stick to one thing; reading, writing, art..! My brain craves for more information, more experiences, more wisdom. But with that; life throws me more lemons, in abundance!

I find myself choosing situations that are not appropriate, then as stubborn as I am, I force myself to stick to it even though most of me wants to run faster than Usain Bolt. Because of these tendencies; I have stories of a lifetime... there are times were I walk down the memory lane and get myself surprised over my previous choices. Is this an addiction of mine?  (And yes, I am pretty full of myself!)