Look over here! Yes, YOU!!

Are you a friendly internet user, that doesn't do any nasty or illegal things over the net? (WHO ARE YOU KIDDING?!) But always somehow your PC seems to get into major SH*T...?? ( Yeh, guess I aint a pretty lady after all) Then look over here!!

The solutions to all your PC problems, yes all...
An external drive and a pirated bootable OS CD!

What?!!! Oh you are waiting for me to tell you how this works, eh?? Well that's on the next tutorial...

Now where do you think you're going?! Aaaaa... You thought this was for free?? Oh no...! You owe me $10!! And next time it wont be this cheap at all!! (yes I am being nice..)

Come Again!
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Now lets see if there are any smart dude that can analyze the text above.