Autumn Love

Everyone has their season, so have I. Mine is autumn, where I again and again fall in love. I fall in love with the cold air, with the play of the winds. The smell of wet grass, smell of fallen leaves...

The sight of beauty strikes my eyes where ever I place, rain drops cold as ice, clouds that hides the sun by day. The colours that gives warmth to your heart... All my love.

Whispers from north lures me, tells me unwritten tales. From the past and the coming future... Every year it leaves me spinning, with a tale unsaid. Three seasons I wait in agony for to hear that mystery.

I love all seasons, but Autumn is mine...

A part of me died,
it has been dead for quite some time.
But now I finally end it.

There are no remorse,
I do not weep, I do not feel.

Once so precious,
but now a closed chapter.

It is buried,
but yet I am alive...

Tick, tick...

So Ramadan is soon over and what have I realised this month that I am not a child anymore nor is dad young like he used to be.

First day of Ramadan, while me and my dad were sitting in the kitchen and eating sehri. It struck to me that my dad is really getting old.

Was it his sleepy eyes or was it his uncombed hair? I don't know, I was just astonished and scared at the same time of the thought. I barely could speak, just random scenes of the past, present and future were playing in my head.

I always seen my dad as the most handsome dad in the entire world, well he still is. But now the wrinkles and his semi grey moustache makes me wish that I could stop time forever, need to invent a youth potion. Any clue of how to start?

I wonder has he seen himself in the very same sight as I've? How does he feel? It was/is hard for me to accept, I wonder how it is for him. Well I guess in 30 years I'll be in his shoes...

Stiffly lying on the marble floor, with the open sky at reach.
Hear the traffic beneath, just another unchanged melody.
Glare of the playing lights, reflects upon me.

A sight full of beauty, still nothing to see.
My eyes continue further in search.
Heart's pounding, mind's aching...

What do I seek,
which is still unseen...

Typical Me?

Sometimes I tend to read too much inbetween the lines...

Will You Remember -The Cranberries

Will you remember the dress I wore?
Will you remember my face?
Will you remember the lipstick I wore?
This world is a wonderful place

Will you remember the black limousine?
Will you remember champagne?
Will you remember the things that we've seen?
I will return here again

Will you remember the flowers in my hand?
Will you remember my hair?
Will you remember the future we planned?
The world is not waiting out there

I won't remember the dress I wore
I won't remember champagne
I won't remember the things that we swore
I will just love you in vain

Will you remember?
Will you recall?

Analyze of the previous post

1. Are you a friendly internet user, that doesn't do any nasty or illegal things over the net? (WHO ARE YOU KIDDING?!) But always somehow your PC seems to get into major SH*T...?? ( Yeh, guess I aint a pretty lady after all) Then look over here!!

2. The solutions to all your PC problems, yes all...
3. An external drive and a pirated bootable OS CD!

4. What?!!! Oh you are waiting for me to tell you how this works, eh?? Well that's on the next tutorial...

5. Now where do you think you're going?! Aaaaa... You thought this was for free?? Oh no...! You owe me $10!! And next time it wont be this cheap at all!! (yes I am being nice..)

6. Come again!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know if you got the point about the previous post, probably thought that I was nutty, which I believed I sounded... but actually it's not that mad if you get the point of the post. Let me start explaining:

This is what you come a cross everyday when you go to proper sites to search help for your PC.

1. The Famous Guilt trip
First it starts with showing remorse for your situation. They so understand you, but suddenly in a polite way they always manage to make you sound like a total dumbass by repeating again and again your problems and it's your fault that you miss use the PC. Then they always have to do the stunt of "I know better than you... Dumbass!"

2. The Divine Solutions
This is what lures you to the site at the first place, by giving you the expression of that they can help you in everything! All your problems will be solved just click into the site...

3. The Solutions At last
Nothing you already didn't know from before, if not they just managed to confused you even more! The upside about the whole thing is that you get to learn new phrases and words.

4. The Reason You're Still At the Site
Well in the end of the page, there always something that says, "Oh wait there is more... just click on THIS!!"

5. The Thing That Makes You Run
Suddenly you come to a whole different site, showing the icons of Visa card, Master Card, etc etc... asks for your credit card number! Well they are nice, they are giving you a 5% of $50 discount at the first month! Well aren't they cute?!

6. The Old Asian Mans Grin
So when you leave the site there always those pop up windows stalking you... This mostly reminds you of the Chinese/Indian man from the Asian grocery store nearby you, the fake smile... But actually a several amount of censured words are playing in his head like a cassette recorder.

Look over here! Yes, YOU!!

Are you a friendly internet user, that doesn't do any nasty or illegal things over the net? (WHO ARE YOU KIDDING?!) But always somehow your PC seems to get into major SH*T...?? ( Yeh, guess I aint a pretty lady after all) Then look over here!!

The solutions to all your PC problems, yes all...
An external drive and a pirated bootable OS CD!

What?!!! Oh you are waiting for me to tell you how this works, eh?? Well that's on the next tutorial...

Now where do you think you're going?! Aaaaa... You thought this was for free?? Oh no...! You owe me $10!! And next time it wont be this cheap at all!! (yes I am being nice..)

Come Again!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now lets see if there are any smart dude that can analyze the text above.

Virtual Honesty Needed!

By any chance do you guys recognize this? OK, I have to admit once upon a time I was a bit like "Julie", then have to admit that I've gotten a lot of great friends over the net. But as expected had to experience the bitter sweet caramel too...
All this makes me think how serious should we take our net friends?
Is it OK to lie over the net, just as long as you are honest in real life? After all it is virtual, you are never going to see them, right?
I've always appreciated good amount of honesty as it's obvious for myself to be honest. Well, yes I may have started conversation with small lies as in where I live and my name but in the end I always tend to tell.
Now it's really easy to play a hot shot over the net as the other person doesn't know you at all, so you can make up just about anything. Besides who are you harming?
Still what about self respect? Shouldn't one have that in all terms, not only respect to oneself even to others? After all how virtual you might say it is, they are still human fingers that are typing the text.
Now innocent flirting has always been fun, and the net is a big place for it! Trust me, I myself tend to flirt a bit once in a while *blush*, but what's the limit? Is it OK to flirt with people on the net and still have a relation in real life? Or is it seen as two-timing? The very same question but presume that you are calling those HOT-numbers where a girl meets boy and like wise instead of the net. Then wouldn't that be seen as two-timing? Yes, I think most of you agrees with me in this case. So what makes it difference from two-timing in net or in real life? None! Both are equally disgusting!
If you call someone your friend whether it's virtual or real life one... You should give the same amount of respect and honesty as a friend should deserve, otherwise there is no meaning in calling them friends. So once again, how serious should we take our net friends? Just as serious you take a human being in your ordinary life. As it is ones thoughts and emotions you read... Those are the two most sacred things a human being has. And not taking them serious is as equal to being brain dead! And besides people who meet on the net gets even married nowadays, so why shouldn't we take each other serious!!!

It's not only how you live your life in the real world that counts, it's how you live it in all the worlds!

I, in different colours...

I've always been fascinated of Andy Warhol's work... Specially the Marilyn Monroe piece. Though her face is too commercial and the piece is worldwide known. But still I can't help myself from getting hypnotised. Is it her face or the colours, or maybe the shades? Well who cares, just as long as I like it!!
So as you see I was inspired to do my version of Warhol, though it didn't turned out to be super still in a weird way it presented ME. I am a person with different faces, or as I prefer the Bangali word "rup" which the colours stand for. And if you unite them together, there you have me. A single person with plural faces. Then again I think that it stands for every human being. Maybe that's why it's so fascinating...

So here comes the intro...

Last night I got this adrenalin kick, though hardly couldn't keep my eyes open still I was stubborn to finish the layout... Though knowing that I might not finish on time as my dad would knock at my door precise at 4:30 am as he always have this Ramadan month, well lets say if he had seen my awake then it wouldn't have been a pleasant Sehri. So anyway it was me against time... :-P Well I know I could have continued next morning, but hey I was at a go.. Can't stop at middle of everything. Anyway the layout wasn't that hard to make as most of it is copied from another layout as you see... Just rearranged it in Photoshop and it was fun playing with the codes. I guess I'm getting good at this.
I just wish I hadn't drop my webdesign course after all, though Sergio scared me to boredom after talking 3 hours straight only about how to approach the viewers. Well I guess I'm on my own of exploring things... Well the hardest part was the touchpad, had and still have cramp in my fingers... Need a mouse!

So why am I here... Well as some of you know I used have Xanga, 3 years of Xanga is too much xanga. Well I know Bini you don't agree... But I feel that Xanga is full of brats, at least here I wont be bother to competing with my writings or my layouts... And Guju S, you may call me a traitor (I know you are reading this) but I've just out grown Xanga and so have you (so shut up!)... And I just made it easier for you to comment here (don't flatter yourself)... Actually I made it easy for everyone... Though the negative part is that I don't have the protected post facility here. Still it doesn't bother me as I'm not planning to be as intimate as I was in Xanga... I need a blog were I can share my visions, thoughts and ideas... We'll see how long this blog lasts, I bet 2 months!