Blood phobia?

I got a nasty cut on my finger while making a canvas. I could see the "meat" under the skin!
First I was all calm, went up to show my sister my cut as it looked ugly. Then went for the savlon and bandage, meanwhile climbing up the stairs I started to get dizzy. Reaching the bathroom I fell/sat on the floor as my legs couldn't hold me anymore, I didn't faint but all of a sudden my blood pressure got low.
You know how in cartoons when the character gets hit on the head and it start to see stars, birds etc. Well I thought I was seeing the twilight and two Adibas. Anyway suddenly I started sweating and I just couldn't take it anymore... "Cover the damn thing up!!!" Shouting impatiently to my father.

Anyway, after thinking I realised I have a classic case of blood phobia, but why all of a sudden? I didn't have problems before. I loved going to the nurses for blood test and then bragging about how much blood they took from me. And now I'm all of a sudden blood phobic? And I thought I knew myself enough...

Monsoon in Sweden

feet in the rain
Originally uploaded by amybethvan.

One thing I miss in Sweden is the monsoon rain, when it rains here it's mostly grey and rains very slowly. Nothing like the monsoon rain that pours down in speed.

Today I managed to feel the monsoon here, I was only out for a minute and got soaked top to toe. People at the store was just looking at me and probably thinking: "The poor thing..."

But the most funny thing was that the water got high besides the sidewalk, so noway of passing without getting your shoes all wet. Me and this lady needed to cross the road, so she said; "Lets go over bare feet, no need of ruining the shoes..."
So both of us went around bare feet in the rain.

I couldn't visit the monsoon in Bangladesh, so I guess the monsoon came to me.

RE: When frustration knocks the door...

This is an e-mail I got from a very close friend of mine concerning the blog I wrote on Middle East Crisis. I value his opionions a lot, though in some terms I don't agree with him as he doesn't with me. I guess that's the dynamic in our good friendship.

Email:

Hey, here's my reply to your entry in your blog. It's a bit too long to reply on the site so I decided to send it to you via email. Enjoy... You pretty much nailed it by showing the flaws in both sides. Regarding the current situation… Israel has been through a lot. Does that give it the right to invade Lebanon as it did? I’m going to be brutally honest with you. What Israel has done so far is beyond anything that should have happened. Should Israel have invaded Lebanon to begin with? In 1998, the UN set a resolution (1559 I think it was) that directed Lebanon to get rid of Hezbollah…drive it out of the nation. In 2006, Hezbollah, the same people that have pitted Islam against much of the world (and I’m not saying just the west…I’m talking about every major conflict that Muslims are in), control a large part of Lebanon and have infiltrated the country both territorially and politically. In my view, Israel made the right decision to come in and attempt to take out the Hezbollah sites nearest to the Lebanon-Israel border. But that’s it. They shouldn’t have penetrated the country as they have done, and they MOST definitely should not have targeted Hezbollah where there was a civilian population. Some argue that Hezbollah is embedded in these civilian populations…how can you not target them- you’ll have casualties but that’s how it works unfortunately. Well I argue that Israel should have stopped weeks ago and let a multi-national task force to set up camp in Lebanon. This force, even consisting of forces from other Islamic countries, would then be responsible for stabilizing the Lebanese government and force Hezbollah out. See, the problem is that the West is how it is and the Muslim extremists are how they are. It’s clear that neither can peacefully coexist. Who will budge? Well I can assure you that Americans will not elect anyone that even resembles Bush or his administration’s policies and actions. Now to the Muslim extremists…many people, including you, say they have to go. But no one is kicking them out, choking their financial and military support, but rather, hiding them. I know that external influence such as a UN task force in Lebanon is the last thing many Muslims want to see but I don’t see any other way of getting rid of organizations that terrorize people and make, like you said, a perfectly ok religion into something that people across many nations and religions have come to either fear or despise. My anthropology professor once asked the class if they think war will always exist. My answer is yes, it will. It’s sort of like “without evil, there can be no good” but more complicated. People across the world will differ in how they live, the luxuries they have, and most importantly the access to resources they have. Some people will get pushed out, many nations divided, many nations dissolved, and worst of all (something that I think we can control), groups of people may even be driven out of existence. As long as there is a difference in access to resources, there will always be war. And it’s safe to say that not everyone will enjoy the same amenities throughout the world. People call it ugly, and it is. Are we above it? I don’t think so. We’d like to think that since we’re much more advanced than other life on this planet, that we don’t need to abide by the natural rules. I think otherwise…I guess we write history to not only show our flaws and mistakes and how to avoid some of them but also to show perseverance, strength and other good qualities in humans, how people have the power to change, and in general, how life is. This is because there are governing rules to life (in my opinion) that we cannot and will not circumvent. And these rules or laws will fuel actions such as wars for as long as we exist. I don’t think war ever comes or goes throughout time…it simply evolves. Its always there.

When frustration knocks the door...

I can't make myself to read/watch the news nowadays, it's pathetic... Me or the news? Maybe both...

The human mind has grown so much since 100 years, even in the past 10 years there have been dramatic changes, inventions of gadgets we can't even imagine to live without. Life gets easier for everyday, always a source of progress in the world; medically, technically or humane.

Comparing to the medieval times and now; the human mind/heart has grown more compassionate and generous. But yet, the world seems to become more and more inhuman to live. Why do we even write history? So history won't repeat itself? Well I guess we aren't paying much attention in the classrooms.

Ironic isn't it? The BIG West, the "educated" and "civil" West are day by day turning into a barbaric predator. Maybe the Christian America is trying to prove Darwin’s theories right instead of acting out from their Holy Bible. And then we have the President who calls himself a true Christian, a man of God. Oh please Seinfeld comes with better jokes...! Then the parasites, Zionists, well lets put it like this: If HIV had a face then we know how it would look like!

But then how can we forget our Muslim brothers and sisters, not to mention the "scholared" leaders, which are making the most perfect religion into imperfect. Encouraging youths to suicide bombing? Why don't the leaders themselves become martyrs and show the path of J'annat? And what is up with The Progressive Muslims? When did Islam a have new face? Could you please give me the name of the surgeon?
Should we blame everything on the non believers? Where is the strong Muslim society?

Well, in a way I can understand the frustration of the youth, I self get carried away sometime, visualising myself sitting middle of the hell gap and pressing the trigger. If I only could be Buffy the Vampire Slayer... *tash*

Just speaking Gibberish... But when I thought there would be some kind of peace at last, then another war got started. I think I just had enough...